Farewell September

This is a difficult one.

I thought August was bad. September has done me in. I'm leaving this month both skeptical and hopeful. This has been one of the hardest months in a long time. So many things I've known have been completely uprooted and thrown away. I've experienced a major loss, the first one to tear me up, which is unfair because I've experienced loss before. But I don't want to get too into it. I don't want to be so negative. I can't be too negative.

I've spent the end of this month looking at where I am and what surrounds me. Nature is such a big part of my life, even more so as I get older. Driving through the country in Fall with wild lavender everywhere is something I used to take for granted, but this month, it served as a source of comfort. I truly love and appreciate where I am, though I've still got a constant nagging telling me to uproot myself and run off to some place I've only ever seen in movies.

I've made a major self realization, one that I'm not yet comfortable talking about outright on the internet, primarily because I don't really think it's necessary. I've learned that I cope with things by isolating myself. I missed my brother when he went home, and gave him a hug. We've never been that way, unfortunately, but we're both adults, and we're changing. It's strange. Though my fifteen year old cousin told me I still act like a sixteen year old (to which I maturely replied, "well, you're twelve"). We kid, he's like another brother.

I'm not sure what else to say. This is a really sappy, personal post. I've done quite a few of those lately, but I'm a bit raw right now. So I want to move on with this post. Bring on October, and real Fall, and the holiday season. Bring on my favorite time of year, and the rest of Paris Fashion Week, and life getting better for everyone.