Goodbye April







April. Where did you go? I blinked this month. That's it.

April was not a bad month. It wasn't the best month. I'm still itchy from symptoms that began in March, and I really don't appreciate it, but I can function. It's alright. My social life was nonexistent again, but I feel like it's something I need to get used to for awhile. Learning how to maintain relationships is something I need to work on, but again, it's alright. A lot of things are changing right now, and for the first time since September, I feel hopeful. I'm still scared, and I hope I'm not jinxing myself. I think I've started to realize that things take time, and time isn't slowing down for anyone. I'm still feeling creatively fulfilled and inspired, and I've fallen even more in love with the blogging community this month. There are some really wonderful and inspiring people out there.

It's good, you know? Everyone is moving on and moving up. I feel whole as April ends, and it's a good feeling. Alright May, I'm ready.


Spinning



















I'm torn in two about Spring right now. I really don't appreciate the allergies or eczema, but the cloudy skies and flowers everywhere are giving me so much inspiration. I'm sure that's obvious by my flower filled posts these days. I've been daydreaming about having a green house full of different plants to take care of. That's definitely a future goal of mine. I'm content enough with caring for plants that aren't my own for now. 

This specific white rose was the single bloom on a small, still growing up bush, roughly the size of my hand. White roses represent purity and innocence, but they also represent sympathy and hope, which were relevant details when I took these photos. They still are. I'm a pretty selfish person, self-aware too, but I pride myself on my sympathy for others. There's a lot going on right now between babies and adult children and jobs, so I've been spending a lot of time trying to make sure everyone else is okay. Moments like this, where I'm spinning in my room, in my favorite dress, in front of my camera, are how I make sure I'm okay. It's a therapeutic process. That, and Spring's got me messed up. My period too. Hormones.

This was sappy. I'm done now. Creative outlets are my life.


Calming Blue + Weird Childhood/Angsty Teenage Memories




This is just a rambling post about the last few days.

When I was a teenager, I went through this phase where I forgot a lot of details about my childhood. It was a weird teen angst thing, but in the last year or so I've remembered a lot of said details. One specific thing was my childhood love for Beetlejuice. Sometimes I think I don't come off near as weird as I actually am in person. I've been obsessed with Tim Burton my entire life, straight from the womb, I'm sure. I always remembered the film Beetlejuice, of course, but I suddenly remembered the cartoon a few months ago. I honestly thought I made it up in my mind at first, but alas, it was a real thing. The show ended before I was even born, but I can clearly remember my obsession with it as a small child. I've been cracking up over my favorite childhood cartoon being a Tim Burton product. Go figure. I found the entire series on DVD over the weekend, and I need it. 

I keep doodling about my lack of houseplants, and I really miss having them around. All of the outdoor plants have exploded this year. I've never seen so many roses outside of this house, and the bushes have been there for many years. It's gorgeous, and I've at least got those to admire. The stack of empty pots under my windowsill is a bit sad though. Also, the blue wall in the illustration was a good decision, I think, but as I was scanning the image, I remembered my brother's bedroom being that color when he was a child, and it wasn't as nice in person. I can't say a lot though. I chose blood red, and though the last traces of it are well hidden, I still don't know what I was thinking as an eleven year old. I went through a phase y'all. 

On Sunday, my blogging anniversary, I found myself looking through my first few months of posts. They're still up, and I have no plans to remove them (as of now at least), but man are they angsty. It's that teenage angst I already mentioned! It actually was a pretty down time in my life, and probably not the best time to start a blog, but hey, we're here now. We made it. Hello. 18 is a weird time in general I think, and I could never picture myself being 21. Adulthood is not what I thought it would be. But I'm still a Beetlejuice obsessed kid, who can buy wine to drink while I watch, and I actually thought about how excited I am to be an adult and be in my thirties and forties. It's a thought I've never had before. Everything's going to be alright. Growth, you know?


Yachtsmaan Turned Three Yesterday




That's insane. I began this blog as an eighteen year old gearing up to graduate high school and leave Texas. Today I'm a twenty-one year old, back in Texas, with a clearer view of what I want, but still a pretty blurry idea of how to get there. I'm learning though, and I think the blur is normal. That's what I've been told, at least. This blog has grown with me, and it has grown as an extension of myself. It's wild how much life can change in three years, and how much goals can and will change. 

I started this blog as a simple photo diary. The name came from an inside joke from a friend. I only posted when I had gathered enough content. I was learning with my new camera, and I was in love. These days I post often, and plan ahead. My camera is also an extension of myself, and I've grown confident enough to share my paintings and illustrations in this space as well. If you're considering starting a blog, do it. I've progressed so much with my work, and I can't wait to see where I (and this blog) go from here.

Happy Anniversary blog. Here's to three more.

Wow.


The Print Longing




As a blog creator and reader, I'm obviously an advocate for online publications. It's cheaper and easier, and anyone can do it. I read an incredible variety of content, and it really is a wonderful thing. However, I still love print. I love seeing stacks of magazines on my work space, and I love having a little book of inspiration at my fingertips - no electrical outlet needed. I love the obvious work put into them, and the way they're better preserved than a blog post that won't ever be seen again.

Now, I have to mention that everything in the photos above is free. It's a Target catalog (that I stole from my mother), a Free People catalog, and RH source books. The latter two are definitely free, and you can go to each respective website and request one. I simply can't afford nice print magazines. Publications like Muse, Cereal, and The Gentlewoman seem fascinating, but it's sort of like window shopping. I'm getting a peak, but I won't get to call it mine, and I'll never see the full product. One day I will though. One day I won't be 21 and afraid to check my bank balance, and I hope printed publications will still be around then. If you can, support them. Buy them, romanticize them, and talk about them all the time. Print Magazines are actually a dying breed, and we need them.


Etsy Edit: Some of My Recent Favorites



My Etsy Favorites list is on fire right now, and it's not full of lingerie for once. Lately I've really been in the mood for linen and wrap dresses, ceramics, and mid-century furniture. The tote bag is practical and lovely, the blanket feeds my addiction, and my niece needs that onesie. The color scheme is accidental, but understandable. Illness and heat, especially when combined, make me want to surround myself with whites and calm neutrals (along with shades of blue, of course). I'm happy with this list, and I'd be even happier with all of these pieces in my space. If you'd like to browse through the rest of my favorites, you can do so here.


*I do not own the images in this post. This is not sponsored.


My Own Twenty Day Challenge Pt. II






And the challenge is over! It's been fun, and it's shown how much I really miss illustrating. Some of the prompts for the second half of this challenge weren't thought out as well as the first half, but I was extremely distracted by storm watching while I thought them up, and they were still enjoyable nonetheless. I've actually got something else illustration related planned for the blog really soon, so I'm counting down the days. I'll switch back to the nicer paper too, don't worry. 

You can see part one of the challenge here.


Healing, or Not...















I took these photos last Thursday, and I was feeling so much better. However, I started breaking out on Friday evening, so my original discussion point for this post is irrelevant. Instead, I spent the weekend applying lotions and creams and popping allergy medicine. I've really got cabin fever right now, and I just want to leave my house. Just having the windows open isn't cutting it, but the situation is a lot more complicated than I've gone into detail about over here, so I'll leave it at that. I'm just getting really sad about not being outside enough.

My brother and his girlfriend came to visit though, and I've decided to call the three (unborn niece, remember) JAM. So they'll be referred to as JAM here from now on. I got to feel my niece move for the first time, which was pretty cool. I'm new to the whole pregnancy and baby thing, and I always thought it would feel weird and unsettling to feel a baby moving inside someone's body, but it's not. It's nice to see them though, and I feel so guilty about never going to visit them. Again, it's complicated. I'm feeling a bit down about that too, but I'm feeling a bit down about most things right now. I'll get over it.

I hope this week is good to you.


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