June Recap

If these photos look melancholy again, it's completely unintentional. June was honestly a fog, but not necessarily in a negative way. I've just had more things to occupy my time, and more things on my mind, and I blinked, and the month was over. Not a bad thing. We're another month closer to Fall. 

I wound up sitting in front of a fan a few nights ago when the air conditioner wasn't working; painting and watching Breakfast at Tiffany's (for the first time, mind you, and I thought it was wonderful, if you can cut out the unnecessary blatant racism), and though I hadn't worked on any paintings/illustrations at all that week, I roughly began five (!!!), and I felt so accomplished. I've no idea where the sudden inspiration came from, but I'll take it, and I'll be glad to end June on a high note. Thanks June.

I also watched "Bells Are Ringing," with Dean Martin, and it's a good one. Watch it sometime. Sounds like it could be a Christmas film, but it isn't.

Three More Pages From The Copic Book

Where has the time gone? I've lost track of it lately (and I'll stop saying that in posts this week immediately), so I've only got these three pages to share, but I do love these illustrations. I'm still not sick of the color, which is relieving, and I'm not stumped for ideas. I'm so in love with this project. It's also given me plenty of still moments to reflect on things that I'll elaborate on when I have more time (okay, really, now I'm done). 

The June Garden & A Ramble About Texas

June is passing by so quickly, and most of the month has been set in suspense. Suspense in the best way mind you, but I've been very uneasy. Plants are a safe space for me, which is something teenage Amber would never have understood. I can spend an hour every evening trimming and pulling and watering, and it's constant. As long as I keep them alive, they're there. Hell, I keep these plants healthier than I keep myself, but it's worth it, because the time I spend tending to these plants is something that I use as a break. I'm not working or panicking, I'm just being. 

They photograph pretty well too. It's only natural that I pay homage to the June foliage. It's resilient and vibrant, despite the suffocating Texas Summer heat, which is something I will never be, but can admire. My neighborhood is finally looking established and homey, and this little country town is so green. 

My mother was telling me about seeing someone comment about a lack of foliage (groups of trees to be specific) in Texas, and I had to laugh. I never understood how climatically diverse this state was as a child, but it's so diverse. I was born in West Texas, and though I don't remember it as much anymore, I have passed through it on road trips, and it's so dry. The area I'm in now is full of rolling hills and clusters of trees, and if you go further east, the towns are so lush and full of wooded areas and massive trees in backyards. I've never been to the coast or further south, but I'll knock the former off my list within the next month or so, and I'm curious.

This probably seems like an overkill, but I'm still blown away sometimes by how much I love the area I live in. Every time I go to another nearby small town, the drive is lovely, and when I go further away, the drive back into town is a dream. When I moved back home, I thought the over-romanticized feelings about my hometown would go away after awhile, but it's been over two years now, and I'm just as pleased. I really don't know where I'll go from here. 

I think I'm using my hometown as a comfort blanket. At least I've got these plants.

Staying Inspired In The Same Environment

Sometimes inspiration is hard to come by, especially when you're usually confined to a one mile radius. I've found that it really helps to collect small bits and pieces that spark feelings, be it bottles, newspaper clippings, or catalogs. I've got all three just in my reach. Okay, so that might make me sound like an alcoholic? I've done a post before about recycling wine bottles to keep flowers, etc in. I've apparently got a few too many, and I've been told it looks problematic. Oh well. They're in my space. Other details could include colors and textures, and even lighting. 

I've also found that if I just submit to my night owl habits, the inspiration floods in after midnight. I've really romanticized the atmosphere in my space at night, but it's like magic, and if it works, it works. Now, this obviously isn't something that would work for everyone, but the atmosphere is my main point. If there's a specific part of the day that you find yourself most inspired by, clear your schedule and create away. Your inspiration, like your work, is whatever you want it to be. How you interpret and romanticize your surroundings is completely up to you. 

Hat Decor

So, yesterday was a mouthful, huh? Let's cool it on that front for awhile.

The idea for this post came about a few weeks ago, when my attention was brought to a hat with a scarf being sold at a ridiculous amount more than a hat without. So, naturally I decided to prove the extra money wasn't necessary by taking the belt from my dress and wrapping it around the hat I already hat. Ta-da! It works. I don't know how much I'll wear this black felt hat in the dead of Summer, but when Fall finally comes around again, I'll definitely be experimenting with different scarves and wraps. Why didn't I think of this sooner? 

Not Really Standing Still

Just PMSing. I guess I'm just going to get personal anyway?

Leave it to me to write a blog post about how I'm doubting myself, only to regret days later. I honestly blame PMS. This happens all the time, but I feel like I'm on track again, and all is well. Sometimes I just feel like my life is at a stand still. Like, everyone is so busy and successful, and I'm kind of just here, where I've been for a few years now, and I don't really know what I'm doing. And it's true that I don't really know what I'm doing, but it's alright. Things are coming along at a glacial pace right now, and it's frustrating, and it produces a lot of doubt, but I think that's just life in general? 

I've spent the last few years trying and failing to get different jobs, which is the main reason I've had so much time for this blog. It's what I spend my time doing, and in a perfect world, I'd get to continue to do it full time, and survive, and not be a part of the percentage of young adults still living with their parents. So I've been trying to find at home jobs, and it hasn't been any easier. I've put my job search on hold for the next month or so, for a few reasons, but in July, I'll have to start looking again. Being a blogger doesn't mean you make money, and I actually make none from this. People say you shouldn't think about the money, but that's not realistic. Yes, I love this. I always want to create and work on this blog, but I need to live. I need to be able to live like an adult, and pay bills, and have my own home, and I have to have a car, because this is Texas, and highways separate everything. I don't necessarily want to blog for a living, but I'm always holding out hope that this space can serve as a portfolio for a job somewhere else. This job situation is a big percentage of what makes me go a bit off the deep end every once in awhile, and it's why I question what I'm even doing. But I do believe that everything will work out eventually.

I've nearly approached this topic so many times over the years, but I think I should just be honest, and maybe it'll make more sense when I make weird posts about being insecure. This is all down to the pressure I put on myself. I know others are guilty of the same thing, and maybe we should all just stop, calm down for a moment, have some wine, and persevere. I need to take my own advice. I need some wine.

Statement Chair Edit

Okay, well, after Thursday's serious chat, I thought I'd lighten the tone with some chairs. Who doesn't love chairs? Really though, I've got an obsession with picking out my favorite chairs whenever I'm in a shop that sells chairs, and I wonder how many chairs is too many chairs for one living space. I'll probably end up pushing the limit one day. I mean honestly, if it's got a shiny detail, I'll love it, but if I can curl up into it on a cloudy day, I'll love it even more. A few of the ones above are better for standing out, and sitting on for short periods of time. The rest however, are just the dreamiest to me. I need them all, I want to curl up in them all, I can see them in a home of my own, and they're wonderful.

*I do not own the images in this post.

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