Over the weekend, while in the middle of a bed frame crisis (more on that later), I discovered a fellow Polyvore user mimicking my sets. The sets that I put so much work into. It was disappointing and discouraging, and as of writing this, they're still at it. They're also a blogger, and I hope they see this. Anyway, I fell into a hole. What am I even doing here?
I've given my entire life to this attempted blogging career, and though it's been wonderful at time, it's problematic. I have no social life (literally, none what-so-ever, I've left the house twice so far this year), I have about fifteen dollars in the bank, and I still live with my parents. I'm 22, and this life path isn't fulfilling in the slightest. I know that you're supposed to say that you only blog as a hobby (note: that is how I began, four years ago), but we all know it's a legitimate career path these days. Why pretend? I spend all of the time I'm awake working on art and blog posts and styling Polyvore sets to attract the attention of brands. I've felt like it wasn't going anywhere for awhile, and seeing someone rip me off and succeed from it was a huge blow.
Obviously you want your peers to succeed, but it's hard not to feel bitter when you've been working towards something for four years, and you're no better off. I wonder when the time will come for me to actually give this up. A big part of me wants to now. I have no real workforce qualifications though. What's a millennial to do? To be honest, I'm pretty much at a breaking point. So I've decided that it's time to get real over here. I might as well be as honest as possible about everything. I might as well be honest about how unappealing my lifestyle is, and how much I suck as modern twenty-something. Maybe this is the writing kick I need?
Anyway, about the bed frame. I've had it for ten years, and it's been in my parents' attic for the last five or six. I decided I wanted to use it again, but the screws all magically disappeared, and they're somehow impossible to find. The bed probably needs custom screws, and the idea was a bust. Alas, I'm still stuck with a mattress on the floor for now. I'm all about that glamorous blogger life, didn't you know?
I just wanted to vent. Tomorrow's post will be much less bitchy. I hope you'll stick around for it.