Another Ramble




I've been struggling lately. My antidepressant hasn't been working as well all year, and it's become an actual issue that I need to pay attention to. However, if you know anything about American healthcare, it's crazy expensive to go to a doctor, even just to have a conversation and a new prescription written. I'm at an impasse.


I have to point out that before I began taking my current medication, I didn't see the point in trying anything (meds). I didn't think anything would help me. Now I'm falling back into that head space, all the while knowing that it's probably better if I stay on medication. It's hard to explain. Honestly, the only reason I'm attempting to talk about it at all is because depression and anxiety need to be less taboo. It's so common these days, I might as well be an open book. 



Medication and treatment aside, I've been trying to "go with the flow." Does anyone actually say that? Anyway, I really am making an effort to better myself, so I'm treating myself a lot lately, in a way.

I'm a night owl and a morning person, so I've been letting myself sleep in the middle of the day just to stay up all night and see the sun rise. I've been enjoying the cycle, though I know it goes against everything I've ever been told to do with my life. I see no reason why I shouldn't stay up all night. Night painting and early morning photos are two of my favorite things.

*Note: I've just realized that I've already touched on the depression/living weird hours thing before. Whoops. Sorry for being repetitive? 


Anyway, I've just spent this past specific night planning photos and falling down a YouTube hole. Did you know that Nutella on toast tastes even better around four in the morning? I've learned a lot this night, and I feel much better than I did when I began this post. 

I hope this week is wonderful to you.


13 comments:

  1. I'm sorry to hear you're in a great place right now, Amber, though I'm really pleased to hear you're finding ways of working through this. Ways that suit you. ''Going with the flow'' sounds like a very, very good idea right now :) Let me know if you need to talk.

    ps. YES to nutella on toast at any/every time of day!

    aglassofice.com
    x

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    1. oops, sorry! I meant >> not* in a great place

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    2. You're so kind Gabrielle, thank you. I'm glad you agree about my four am snack! lol

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  2. Health care is quite expensive in here as well and I find it ridiculous...And as you have mentioned, these topics shouldn't be taken as taboos. I'm really glad you stepped out and opened up about depression and anxiety. Really hope you will feel better soon. Wishing you the best! xx

    Andreea,
    http://couturezilla.com/​​​​

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    1. It is ridiculous, I agree. Thank you Andreea!

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  3. I understand exactly what you mean. I think finding your own routine is a pretty good start to getting out of that headspace. I also think making yourself busy & hanging out with friends is a good idea too. It does seem like too much energy & something that probably won’t interest you but after a while it becomes second nature & you’ll wonder why it was so difficult in the first place. But I’m glad to hear your routine is working for you! & I love your photos in this post. Looking forward to more posts from you! x

    TFM - Life & Style

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    1. I'm hoping the routine path works out in the end. Fingers crossed, and thank you!

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  4. I applaud you for being so open with mental health because I've yet to bring myself to do it myself. Yes, it needs to be less taboo. That stigma prevents so many people from getting the help they need or reaching out. I'm sorry to hear that you're in a hard place and are finding other ways to cope. Hoo boy, do I know the pain of our healthcare system, especially with what's happened recently. I hope it gets better for you, Amber.

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    1. I hope you'll be able to openly talk about it some day, though something that personal has to be on your own time, of course. And the healthcare, ugh, at this point I'm just hoping I'll get to have any at all (along with millions of others).

      Thank you Alyse.

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  5. Your honesty about mental health is genuinely so wonderful and inspiring and I absolutely loved reading this - there's so much truth in what you have said. I hope things keep getting brighter, I'm sending you all the love in the world <3
    www.britishmermaid.com

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    1. I'm so glad you thought so Cara! You're so sweet, thank you.

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  6. Sorry to hear that you're not feeling well Amber <3 But hands down to you for talking about it. It's beyond me that society is obsessed with physical health, bodies, diets etc but not enough about mental health. I honestly think that society would be so much better if we included mental health in education/school. We have PE that tells us all about our bodies and encourages activities, so why not an hour a week for our minds. Talking about how to empower, confidence etc. But also bring up what stress, anxiety, depression etc really is and how to sort of deal with it. I mean, our minds are the very foundation of our lives. It's literally the center of everything we do and how we feel.

    Hope you'll feel better soon, sending love! Xx
    www.thefashionfolks.com

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    1. I agree completely. That's why I'm making an effort to be more open about it, even when I'm feeling down. I want to normalize expressing true emotion.

      Thank you Mia!

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