I've been struggling lately. My antidepressant hasn't been working as well all year, and it's become an actual issue that I need to pay attention to. However, if you know anything about American healthcare, it's crazy expensive to go to a doctor, even just to have a conversation and a new prescription written. I'm at an impasse.
I have to point out that before I began taking my current medication, I didn't see the point in trying anything (meds). I didn't think anything would help me. Now I'm falling back into that head space, all the while knowing that it's probably better if I stay on medication. It's hard to explain. Honestly, the only reason I'm attempting to talk about it at all is because depression and anxiety need to be less taboo. It's so common these days, I might as well be an open book.
Medication and treatment aside, I've been trying to "go with the flow." Does anyone actually say that? Anyway, I really am making an effort to better myself, so I'm treating myself a lot lately, in a way.
I'm a night owl and a morning person, so I've been letting myself sleep in the middle of the day just to stay up all night and see the sun rise. I've been enjoying the cycle, though I know it goes against everything I've ever been told to do with my life. I see no reason why I shouldn't stay up all night. Night painting and early morning photos are two of my favorite things.
*Note: I've just realized that I've already touched on the depression/living weird hours thing before. Whoops. Sorry for being repetitive?
Anyway, I've just spent this past specific night planning photos and falling down a YouTube hole. Did you know that Nutella on toast tastes even better around four in the morning? I've learned a lot this night, and I feel much better than I did when I began this post.
I hope this week is wonderful to you.