My Mental State This Season


I do not feel festive. I have waited for this time of year impatiently, and I've written about my excitement endlessly, but as the season arrived in November, so did a wave of poor mental health, and I feel nothing. Maybe not nothing. I feel a bit upset that I'm not up to my ears in excitement, but I'm just not. Christmas is a little over a week away, and I'm not expecting the excitement to appear at all, so this is just where I'm at.

I'm feeling very depressed and very unconcerned about festivity, and all of these posts and photos have been incredibly forced. I still have a few more coming anyway. Maybe.

Blogging-wise, I honestly can't wait to get back to normal posts. I could just say "fuck it" and get back to the usual anyway, but we're half way through the Christmas season, and I might as well keep going. It wouldn't make much sense to suddenly post fewer festive things as the holiday grows nearer (though I've already done that on Instagram, whatever). 

Today I turn 23. I wasn't going to mention it, but the new year of life kind of applies to this topic. I just want to start fresh with everything, and ignore the topical season. I have a lot of plans for next year, and I'm excited to get them going already. I feel like I've reached a new place with this blogging thing, and I'm ready for topics I care more about, things I care more about, and brutal, brutal honesty. It'll take practice, but I want it.

I think the future looks brighter. The now is the issue, you know? I'm trying to be in the moment, but it's not quite working.

I hope you're feeling more festive than I am.


Comments

  1. Dude honestly I'm the same with the whole Christmas season arriving and not feeling excited about it. I've basically not left the bed in a couple days, the sweet cold and lights and festivity outside is now just boring and dull and I just wan to warm happiness of Summer.

    Amy;
    Little Moon Elephant

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    1. It's such a bummer, right? I hope you'll feel better soon Amy.

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  2. I'm in a similar spot as well; I've never been a festive person, haha.

    When it comes to the future versus living in the moment, I think one helpful tip that I have received is to learn to be excited about the process rather than the future. Thinking about the future can give us satisfaction temporarily which can motivate us, but it can slow our growth as well. The now can be so hard, but I think trying to enjoy it will make the journey to the future you aspire to reach more easy and pleasant. In simpler words, fantasize about the journey, not the end goal. Of course, this is easier said than done and is what I'm trying to work on these days.

    Lucy

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    1. That's very insightful Lucy, thank you. I think I need to work on that.

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  3. I can understand why you're finding it hard to get into the festive season if you're not feeling 100% as it is. Make sure you treat yourself very kindly Amber, and wishing you a very happy birthday - even if it may not feel happy to you right now. With all my heart, I hope your 23rd year is a brilliant one for you Amber (mentally, in particular) :)

    Gabrielle | A Glass Of Ice x

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    1. You're always so sweet, thank you Gabrielle. I wish you the best!

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