Everything is Cold


Everything is cold. It's as if I can feel the Earth's stillness, and life is slow. Slow, but not quite paused. That was my initial conclusion. Not paused, because though everything in nature, and everything in my being is moving slower, it's still moving. Everything is cold, and it's time to recover from a hectic holiday season, and a hectic existence in general. It's time to work and rebuild, and to know that this is the flow. This cold is what you make of it.



In a literal sense, I'm fucking freezing. I feel like it's been years since I experienced a proper Winter, and this year's is as proper as it gets here. Our heater is broken, so I've spent my days in three or four layers, with a blanket, and the occasional use of a small space heater. I think my depression is making me colder. Not an attention-grabbing comment (and I hate that I feel the need to clarify), but just a general statement. I think it is. I've been colder than the rest of my family. Like, shivering and wearing gloves so I can still move my fingers, cold. I think it's the depression. 

And yet I drink iced coffee as I write this. It's below freezing outside, and I was just in the backyard, barefoot, in the grass, because grounding is important to me. I am happy in this cold. I am making the most of it.



4 comments:

  1. Okay but how did you write this so poetically, what is your secret? It probably is the depression that is making you colder, it certainly never helps feeling warm. I too hate this weather, and the only break I get is by traveling to slightly warmer countries for a week, although that may not exactly be a long term solution.


    Amy;
    Little Moon Elephant

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    1. Ha! I'm flattered! Not exactly a long term solution, but a pretty nice reprieve, I bet.

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  2. Personally I'm feeling the opposite. It's scorching hot over here, today is super humid and I've changed clothing about three times already. Yesterday about five, and I worked for most of the day too hahaha. I never feel "right" in summer. I thrive in winter.

    BTW you never need to justify anything. Perhaps it is making you colder. Depression has an effed up way of wrecking havoc on our minds. I don't have a cure for depression but from experience cuddling up to a furry BFF helps considerably (and gives your mind something else to focus on, like belly rubs and making silly faces. The latter might just be something I do with my fur baby hahaha!)

    Personally I'm feeling the opposite. It's scorching

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    Replies
    1. Yikes. I feel for you. I never feel "right" in Summer either. Cuddling with my fur babies is my favorite thing to do! I've been spending extra time in bed in the mornings just to do so. Not very productive, but crucial for my mental health lol.

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