Resilience and Resolutions

Winter finally hit in my part of the world around the beginning of December. The remaining plants wilted and went into hibernation, and everything turned gray. Something about gray, colorless Winter is so relaxing. It really is a season for calming down and starting anew. I mean, I'm aware that Winter is literally about those things, but they're all figuratively fitting too.

Anyway, one Monday I felt a bit too restless and cooped up, so I ventured out into my tiny backyard. This isn't unusual, but as I bundled up, I realized that it had probably been weeks since I'd last done so, and I felt sad. I'd been to busy with holiday mess and family mess and general life mess, but as I stepped outside, I felt alright again. 

I immediately made my way to my favorite corner of the yard, where I feel so strongly connected to something bigger than me, and actually let out a surprised-but-not laugh. Though the grass was dead, and the morning glory vines were all cut back, little leaf buds were already sprouting again. It was as if the plants were defying the roadblocks in their way. Naturally, I started thinking about my own life.

I am self-centered?

I'd turned 23 a few days before, and I was honestly too dramatic about the whole thing. In the weeks building up to the date, I was constantly lamenting over another year gone by, still in my parents' house, still lacking an existence beyond the front yard, and completely disregarding how drastically different my life actually was in just a year. When the day actually came, I felt the complete opposite. I felt okay. I felt like I was strong, and nothing was wrong. I felt different, for lack of a better explanation. Everything was fine.

Instead of mourning all day, I felt like a fire had been lit inside me, and I made resolutions for the first time. I set goals for myself, and I'm going to see them through. I will. I can. I am strong, and I will continue to be strong in this new year.

So, my resolutions are:

1. Keep working. I want to do the projects I've been dreaming of. I'm just going to do everything my mind comes up with, and I'm going to continue to push my work everywhere. I have big hopes and goals for my creative projects this year.

2. Stay kind. Last year I said I wanted to be softer, and I failed. I'm an emotional person, and sometimes I am harsh and blunt. That's not going to change. However, I want to be kinder, in general really. Kinder to strangers, kinder to my parents, kinder to the Earth.

What are your resolutions?