My Mental State This Season
I do not feel festive. I have waited for this time of year impatiently, and I've written about my excitement endlessly, but as the season arrived in November, so did a wave of poor mental health, and I feel nothing. Maybe not nothing. I feel a bit upset that I'm not up to my ears in excitement, but I'm just not. Christmas is a little over a week away, and I'm not expecting the excitement to appear at all, so this is just where I'm at.
I'm feeling very depressed and very unconcerned about festivity, and all of these posts and photos have been incredibly forced. I still have a few more coming anyway. Maybe.
Blogging-wise, I honestly can't wait to get back to normal posts. I could just say "fuck it" and get back to the usual anyway, but we're half way through the Christmas season, and I might as well keep going. It wouldn't make much sense to suddenly post fewer festive things as the holiday grows nearer (though I've already done that on Instagram, whatever).
Today I turn 23. I wasn't going to mention it, but the new year of life kind of applies to this topic. I just want to start fresh with everything, and ignore the topical season. I have a lot of plans for next year, and I'm excited to get them going already. I feel like I've reached a new place with this blogging thing, and I'm ready for topics I care more about, things I care more about, and brutal, brutal honesty. It'll take practice, but I want it.
I think the future looks brighter. The now is the issue, you know? I'm trying to be in the moment, but it's not quite working.
I hope you're feeling more festive than I am.