My Conflicted Feelings About Living in Texas

I have a love/hate relationship with my home-state. I left once and came back, only to have the urge to leave again four years later, but with different priorities, and a different outlook.

Believe it or not, there are wonderful things about living in North Texas. The scenery is beautiful. This area in Winter always catches my breath, but that might be a personal thing. There are genuine, kind people here, though I often forget them. Fort Worth is one of my favorite places in the world, and the DMA is my favorite museum. How much do these things matter? Are they enough to keep me rooted?

Politically, this state is absolute trash. I don't know a single person whose political views I agree with for any number of reasons. Attempts to even reach state representatives practically go unnoticed. It's trash, complete garbage. I have strong personal views on the politics here that I can't go into while I'm still here, because I don't want the confrontation, but I hope you get my point.

I live in a very small town, where I've been most of the last twelve years, and I have come to understand that I can no longer grow here. I can no longer feel like I am in control. Staying means I'll never really move on from the mindset of a broken down twenty year old. There are too many ghosts, and too many expectations that I have no desire to fulfill.

Though I do feel woeful in regards to leaving, I think my mind is actually made up. I have to go.