On Weight Loss

 

Over the last three years, I gained a lot of weight. A lot, of weight. Since March, I've been on a journey to lose 65 pounds, and I'm currently a third of the way there. I've been contemplating whether or not I should even address my weight loss, but I've written about the gain in the past, so here I am.

I think that all bodies are beautiful, seriously, and I'm not here to preach about weight loss and tell everyone to get on the train. Absolutely not. My personal weight loss journey is my own, and though I'm finally becoming happy about the way I look again, this is about more than appearance. 

At my highest weight, I was completely miserable. I couldn't lay on my side without my thighs and hips going numb. I couldn't bend over long enough to paint my toenails. I felt sluggish and down all the time. My clothes didn't fit anymore. My bras didn't fit anymore. 

Since the weight gain, I've had terrible hives and rashes in Spring. They last months, and negatively affect every aspect of my life. I can't wear most things, I can't sleep, I can't sit comfortably. It's all a mess. I think I've mentioned them a time or ten.

When the hives appeared this year, I reached my breaking point, and decided that I had to lose the weight. 2018 was (and still is) going to be about completely transforming myself, and getting on with my life. No more limbo. No more extreme allergic reactions. No more staying out of things because I'm miserable. 

I don't want to go too much into the how, because I'm seriously not here to promote weight loss, but I've basically had to focus on my relationship with food and relearn healthy eating habits. This is a complete lifestyle change after all, not a diet.

I already feel so much better, both physically and mentally. My clothes are starting to fit again, and some are even too big now (I have to wear a belt with those jeans now!). I have definition in my face again. My hips don't fall asleep. I can sit with my knees to my chest. I'm more motivated in every other aspect of my life. I'm painting again, and trying my damnedest to further my career. 

I'm already feeling like a whole new person.

I don't know when I'll check in with this again, but this has been the best decision I've ever made for myself. I didn't want to come off as a hypocrite for preaching body positivity and going out of my way to lose weight, because I've seen where others have faced backlash for the same. I'm losing weight for me, for my health, and I'll still preach body positivity, and I still maintain that all bodies are beautiful. Love yourself. Lose or gain weight for yourself.


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